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Shannon's Story

By Shannon Granger

Hello, my name is Shannon and I'm married to my dear Dan, and we are blessed with children. We have named 4 babies but have met only 3 of them. We have two lively boys, Nathan who is 6 and Simon who is 4.

In the fall of 2009 we were expecting our third baby and everything was going well. We looked forward to meeting this new member of our family in the summer time, making plans and dreaming of our new life. I was healthy and check-ups were normal, I even heard the baby'

s heartbeat in December. At an appointment in January my doctor could not find a heartbeat and so we went for an ultrasound that confirmed, there was no heartbeat, our baby had died, most likely 3 weeks earlier. 2010 did not start out well for our family.

We were very fortunate to have told our family and friends early about the pregnancy, so when we had to tell them we lost the baby we experienced an enormous outpouring of love and support.

Since Dan and I have been married we have had numerous family and friends who have lost babies through miscarriage. I had been rather dismissive and unsupportive of these people saying common phrases like, "Oh, you can try again", and "at least it was early" not understanding how hurtful those words were until it happened to us.

The more people we talked to about our loss the more stories we heard of miscarriage. Dan’s boss and the supervisor both shared that their families had experienced miscarriages. Some of my friends in ministry shared their stories as well.

Through these conversations we decided we wanted to have a service to gather with our family and friends and pray. Fr. Lawrence was so supportive and he was open to whatever we wanted to do. We prepared a Liturgy of the Word, a celebration to remember our dear Frances.

A few months later, in very early spring of 2010, Dan and I were able once again to share with family and friends that we were awaiting the arrival of another baby.

 

Heart Hands
Credit: sxc.hu

Though this was a joyous time for us it was also an anxious time. We hoped and prayed that we would hold this baby. I also knew it was time to do something to raise awareness about miscarriage. It didn't take long for me to realize that the grief of miscarriage can be overlooked and is often not shared outside of the immediate family, which means many couples and single moms suffer alone. Also, in preparing for our liturgy Fr. Lawrence had said he hadn't been part of a service or celebration in the case of a miscarriage in all the years he has been a priest. This was stunning to me considering how many families experience this loss. The richness of our tradition and liturgical worship and the power of communal prayer are underutilized when grieving a miscarriage.

After many conversations with Blake we gathered together people who we knew would be passionate about this issue and we formed the Miscarriage Awareness Committee. The committee is very dedicated and has been working diligently to gather information, put together materials for the website, prepare for and be here today. I personally want to thank them for giving their time and sharing their stories. I appreciate that we have been given the opportunity to speak to you today and hope that we can, with your help, let families know that it is ok to share news of pregnancy and if the precious, tiny life is lost in miscarriage we can support them.
As for my family, 2010 ended very well with the birth of Alexis.

 

 

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